It happens in every organization. Two leaders of two different teams just can’t get along. It’s wreaking havoc among the other teams. Things are just a mess. As the program manager, you’ve been asked to fix the situation. What should you do? Not an easy task to say the least. Sounds like these two have forgotten that without each other, there’s no way the company would reach its goals.

And since team members typically mirror what is done not what is said, you have a real problem on your hands. Your only option is to get these two team leaders together to find a solution.

Conduct Individual Meetings

Meet with each of them individually prior to the group meeting to find out the key issues. Ask each participant to identify what the other team needs to:

• Start doing to enable success
• Stop doing to enable success
• Keep doing to enable success

Advise them to focus on business issues that can be changed and to avoid finger pointing.

Guide the Group Meeting

At the beginning of the meeting review the company goals, the goal of the session and set some ground rules such as:

• One person talks at a time
• Attack the problem, not the person
• Listen to understand, not to reply
• Keep your eye on the goal

Depending on how much history these folks have, you may have to be a strict mediator. Don’t let them speak from their positions; make them voice their issues from their concerns. (A position would be “you provide awful service.” A concern would be “we receive requests so late in the day that it requires my staff to work overtime to complete.”)

Work through the issues, set up an action plan for resolution and get the problem fixed.

It may take a bit to implement the plan, but if you keep them on track the situation will improve. What other suggestions do you have?

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A new team (two members and a lead) was recently formed to provide technical support for a new product. I started a few weeks before the second member and built up some knowledge and resources. As soon as the new member joined, I shared everything I had.

Two tasks were put to the team and we decided that we would meet to discuss the best way forward. However, the new team member has spent a great deal of time to move forward with the task without discussing it with me and sharing any of the documentation until I mentioned it today.

This makes me think that there is potential for competition conflict to arise, and for such a small team this would be a big problem.

I would like to know how best to handle this? Is it possible to keep somebody like this onside without directly addressing the issue? At this stage, it would seem petty to me to ask why he had not discussed a team task for which we are both responsible before going ahead.

The Team Doc Says…

Given what you’ve described, it probably feels like a slap in the face since you were so open to sharing when this new team member came on board.

It’s not clear to me whether you are the lead on this team or not. I’m assuming you are not or you would have already taken the bull by the horns and dealt with this issue.

This situation is unacceptable. When a task is supposed to be shared between team members, that’s what should happen.

So let’s assume the team member was acting with good intent. Perhaps he was getting prepared to collaborate with you so the two of you could move the task forward. That’s a good thing. Maybe not as collaborative as you would like, but his focus was on a good outcome.

On the other hand, let’s assume he just doesn’t like working in a team and wanted to do it all himself. That’s not a good thing. And you got left with the short end of the stick. This may be an indicator of how this team member will behave going forward.

It would definitely not be petty of you to address this issue with your team member. The two of you need to have a good working relationship or your team will be sunk. I recommend you have a conversation with him to set the stage for your future work together. Don’t make it a confrontation, use an information seeking approach such as,

“John, you and I were tagged with working on the x project together. Before we could get started, you did a lot of the work and brought it to the table. While I appreciate your enthusiasm and effort, I was wondering why you felt you needed to do that rather than the two of us work on it together?”

Then, just listen. At the end of the discussion, identify some working agreements that will help the two of you move forward. And do let me know how this works out for you.

I have a dilemma in that I started in as a new team leader and had the first meeting with 15 staff. They were rude, disrespectful, etc since they have always had the same leader for a long and did not want a new one. I was able to get control back over the meeting but now realize I have to find a way to work with this team to create a respectful environment and having said that I believe I will need a plan of action. Can you provide me a plan that I could use to get the team back. 

The Team Doc Says…

This is such a bummer for you. Since I know nothing about the make up of your team (or you!), it’s a bit difficult to be very prescriptive with your plan of action.

Here’s what you should do.

Schedule a meeting with every single team member. During that meeting, be empathetic. It’s hard for people to embrace change especially when the person who left the team is someone you loved working for. But that doesn’t mean their behavior is warranted.

What you want to accomplish during the meeting is to find out what makes that team member tick. What their hopes and dreams are within your team and if they have any key issues.

You will have the most success by showing them you care about them and the future of the team. Once you’ve met with each team member, put together a plan of action based on what you heard and what you want to achieve.

What do you think reader? Do you have additional advice to share? Please leave a comment.

I would like to ask for your help in constructing a response letter to my new hired boss. There was this one time that we had a problem on who to manage the set of trainees we had on the operations area. Because of that incident she sent me a letter about it. The letter started with how she appreciate all my hard work and how glad she is that she have someone under her wings who works more than what he is tasked to do and then the letter went from that to how she view me as a person. She stated all her bad personal thoughts about who I am. I wanted to tell my boss that I would appreciate it if we focus on the mistakes and not on how she view me as a person.

The Team Doc Says…

First I’ll say that yes, how she views you as a person shouldn’t figure in her feedback (even though it probably figures in her opinion of you). Second, this whole thing sounds really weird. She tells you how good you are and then slams your personality. Totally inappropriate.

Feedback that is given to you should be specific and timely. And in person, wherever possible, so a discussion can take place and you can decide what behavior changes you will make based on what you have been told. There are several keys to giving good feedback. A good feedback list is here.

You cannot control what your boss will say to you, all you can do is control your response and you don’t want to get into a spitting contest here. Stay focused on the task at hand and respond to her feedback based on your demonstrated behavior.

I think it would be a good idea for you to meet with her face-to-face. Once you’ve had your first meeting, set up a regular schedule to get together. Try to get inside her head so you can figure out where she is coming from and work forward with that. If you don’t, your job their may become too miserable to tolerate.

What about you reader? Do you have suggestions  to offer?

I listened to your podcast on “Don’t be afraid of conflict” because my staff are not getting along. I am the director of a very small child care center. There are four women besides myself on staff. All of these ladies are between 26 and 32 years of age. Two work in the same class & the other two work in separate classes but work on lesson plans together & have become good friends. One group thinks the other group could do more to help when the number of children in their class drops during the day. We have all discussed this and I thought it was resolved, but there is still underlying conflict. I am exhausted from the subtle discord. What can I do? We need to work together for the good of the children we serve. We are not trying to make big bucks here. The school is using the child care center to draw new teachers with young families. I just don’t know what else to do. Quite frankly, I don’t want to work in that same atmosphere for the next year! Any practical help to get my staff together would be appreciated.

The Team Doc Says…

Unresolved conflict really can undermine efforts to move your team to high performance. You absolutely must get to the root of this issue, even if that means letting a staff member go. Since you are the director, the buck stops with you. You absolutely must take action to get this corrected.

I think a meeting of all staff is in order. Lay out your issues with what is going on. Be specific. Don’t just say the conflict has to stop. Cite examples of exactly what you saw or heard. Hold team members accountable for their behavior. Explain what will happen to the staff member if the situation occurs again.

You don’t really have much choice here. One thing I would be very concerned about is the impact to the children in the classes. Little people are very smart. You can bet they see what is going on and feel the effects of it too.

What about you reader? Got any good suggestions? Please share in the comments.